LOVE IS HARD

"Love is hard, If it was easy, it wouldn't mean nothing no..." - James Morrison

This is one James Morrison song that caught my attention one day after quite some time. 

The final sentence in the song suddenly struck me as meaningful.

I've complained as I watch people around me struggle with their relationship problems and to be really frank, as a person who has never dated for her whole life, I am thankful that I do not need to face that sort of problems.

People had said that they can't imagine me in a relationship.

Honestly, I can't either. Not because I am picky but mainly because I personally don't think I am good enough for anyone because I am not quite the giver I think when it comes to relationships. I can be a good friend who gives, but not a good girlfriend.

And if I am not ready to give, I don't think anyone who is in a relationship with me would be considered a 'lucky man'. Plus, I don't think I'll be able to handle all the relationship problems that are bound to surface.

I'm the type of person who wants things simple - even in a relationship; and if a boy and a girl can't be together problem-free - hell, I really don't want to bother (at least for now, maybe not when I am reaching 40)

Did I tell you that I find some of the girls' requests plain absurd? Like how the boyfriends must call them everyday or how they can't be late or that sort of thing? But of course they are also some dudes out there with crazy jealousy problems and think that the girls need to cater to their every need. So ya, I find jealousy and all these can't travel with another opposite sex theory pretty ridiculous back then...

But then, maybe it is justifiable. They say it is normal and I am trying to understand. I guess I never had to be overprotective of something because I am not afraid to lose that one thing. And perhaps when you really really love someone, the last thing you want is to lose it. Besides my parents, I never am afraid of losing anyone - at least, up until now.

So I guess love is naturally hard because you need to find the balance between over-controlling the person and giving that person too much freedom. You'll need to struggle as you learn to trust that someone and overcome your own insecurities (which see, is one of my biggest personal challenge).

I think my biggest problem is  that when it comes to relationships, I believe too much in fate. I always think that destiny and fate will have it their way anyway, so it really doesn't matter what I do or how hard I try to get to a person I like, because if we are not fated to be together - as friends or more than friends, then really there's nothing I can do about it. So say even if I am in a relationship, I trust that no matter how hard I control my man, if he is destined to leave me for another, I don't think there's much I can do about it. 

See, I shall give you this example.

There's this quite good-looking dance teacher I once had and he teaches the Tuesday classes. So, naturally I want to go for Tuesday classes right? Yeah, but, it just so happen that every single Tuesday I am caught up at work for whatever reasons. And come one fine Tuesday, I somehow made it and he was on leave. You see, they say that sometimes you can't leave things to fate, you need to make an effort. An effort was made, but somehow, fate has it that he just ain't going to be there that Tuesday that I actually made it. And then the next time I see him, I just don't quite like him anymore. Haha...

I always have a problem talking to boys I like.

I can never be myself and I always say the wrong things that offend them. Sometimes, I don't think you can even tell if I like them or hate them because I treat guys I like like I hate them. 

So, naturally, I become close to boys who are not my type and shy away from those I like. And perhaps that's my destiny. Or perhaps there will be one out there that be so fitting with my personality that I just know he is the one - and I don't even need to do anything.

If you ask me though, I don't need to be in a relationship with a boy to know how hard it is.

Seriously, I have TVB dramas rolling all around me. I witness as all my friends struggle through the ups and downs in creating their love stories. I personally struggle through ups and downs with my job, which happened to be the love of my life. Trust me, I can relate. My job is really, like my boyfriend...and really, it is VERY MUCH SIMILAR to having a boyfriend.

So to be honest, I am very scared - and I don't know scared whether if I can't find the person whom I can really love whole-heartedly or scared to even start loving. 

My client told me today that I think to much about life because I am single.

Then she went on and tell me they prefer to hire those who are single...

What the hell? Hahaha....so at the end of the day, I have to choose between career and relationship and I have always went for the former previously

So yes, like this James Morisson song points out - love is hard! The lyrics cleverly written to express how hard it can be and also my thoughts about love. 

But after listening to the song, I think I understand why it is worth loving. After all the pain you go through, only will you learn to appreciate it more. I mean, I can also relate it to my job - after working so bloody damn hard on various different clients, you'll only learn to appreciate the effort put into the job more, but then on the other hand, you might also feel so tired of that "relationship" that you just feel like giving up on it. 

See it is so similar! 

The starting of the song reminds me of Liverpool, and I don't really know why.

Perhaps the plucking of the guitar is similar to those buskers around town who always manage to impress me with their guitar and sweet singing.

So here's to all of you who's struggling with love (whatever form it comes in):

I see lovers in the streets

Walking without a care

They wear it out loud

Like there's something in the air

Oh well, I don't care...

They're treading lightly

No, they don't sink in

There's no tracks to follow

They don't care where they're going

And if they're lucky, yeah

They'll, they'll get to see

And if they're really, really lucky

They'll get to feel

And it kicks so hard, it breaks your bones

Cuts so deep, it hits your soul

Tears your skin, and makes your blood flow

It's better that you know,

That love is hard

Love takes hostages

And gives them pain

Gives someone the power 

To hurt you again and again

Oh but they don't care

This verse is too true. Some people are willing to sacrifice almost anything for the one they love. And also, no matter how many times they are let down, they just continue giving changes and allowing that person to hurt them over and over again - basically they are held emotionally hostage.

It's better that we know that love is hard,

Love is hard, love is hard

If it was easy it wouldn't mean nothing, no

Love,

TammyC