THE BATTLEFIELD

Not worth the time

But I keep thinking about it

I want my old life back

But is forced to charge forward

I am on a battlefield

And this year

Terribly hurt...

With almost no strength to fight again

As I lay battered with shattered hopes

I think of the wrongs that I've done

And I shall die feeling sorry inside

As I beg for forgiveness

I am sorry for

I have not loved enough

For I am selfish

And to be honest

I don't even love myself

And that's why, the love I give

Can't be as much

Because I am learning still

How to give and not expect to take

I am sorry for the things I said

That might have hurt some feelings

That I didn't think of how to

Better release words of anger

I am sorry for the words I didn't say

The things that I failed to express

The gratitude and love 

That could have changed a life

I wish I would have been able to 

Say things that should be said

And kept those that shouldn't be

If I die on the battlefield

I hope my fellow soldiers could fight on victorious

And I shall rot with joy

And watch from far away

But dying is the easy way out

Making it through is the challenge

But why do I keep pushing myself to live

When all I really want is to die

There is a reason...

It could be for myself

Or it could be for you

And we'll never know

Written by TammyC