HER LAST SMILE (I COULDN'T HOLD BACK TEARS)
I couldn't hold back tears
When I saw her smile
It was all that matters
Being there for her, even if it is just for awhile
I can't do much
Just wish I could do more
But I felt weak compare to her
For I couldn't hold back the tears
This strong woman has no fears
At least that's how she appears
For when her loved ones are near
She gave the biggest smile
One that I will not forget
Because that was the most beautiful
And probably her last
Before her final breath the next day
I wonder what she was thinking then
For there were words she couldn't speak
I can only hope if that there were words
It would be about how happy she was
And how she saw a glimpse of the wonderful place that she was going to
A place where she and grandpa will unite again
A beginning and not the end
Looking back
Everything happened so fast
We have lost her
But...
I will forever remember that smile
A smile that brought tears to my eyes
Not because the thought of her leaving is sad
But because it was the most pure and beautiful thing one could ever feel
I realise now that God never takes anyone away completely
Because He will always leave a piece of the person we love behind
In the form of a beautiful memory
And sometimes, that might just be enough
This is written in loving memory of my Grandma.
I wrote the first part of this poem on the last day I saw her. I never completed it because on the next day, 5th February, she left us to be with Grandpa and God.
She carved her most beautiful smile the day before she died. And I know, she smiled so that we will all feel better and happier. Somehow, looking back, I think it was a goodbye.
She is such a selfless woman, for she always put others first before herself. No matter how hard it was for her when she was battling Cancer, I felt that whatever she did, her thoughts were to make life simpler for others. I think she fought mostly because of all of us - her children and grandchildren.
I still remember that time she forced herself to eat, just so we could eat. That time she sat up for us in the wheelchair, despite feeling nauseated.
I can only imagine how tough it was for her during her last few months. No one deserve to die a painful Cancerous death, especially not Grandma, but I am glad all of us got to spend a lot of time with her during this period. Looking back, this experience was bittersweet.
My parents and aunts were all rock stars during this period. They demonstrated to us all the meaning of love and care.
To my Grandma, I hope you are now in a happier place together with Grandpa. Thank you for all the years of care and love and for all the memories. We will be happy and are happy now because of what you gave us - love.
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Grandma, when she was healthy, and yes, DRINKING BEER! We will forever remember the good times with her. |
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I still remember that time we all camwhored with grandma...it was New Year a few years back! |
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