LIVIN' LIKE A MINCHIN: 9 VALUES TO A MEANINGLESS LIFE

I've always enjoyed listening to inspirational people who have a sense of humour. 

I feel that most of them ain't trying to be perfect but they do have impressive achievements. Their humility humbles me too.

No offence really, but those "perfectionists" who think that they are all that bug the crap out of me because all they do is focus on the tiniest things that don't really matter just because they want to maintain their image or status whatsoever and seriously, sometimes I wish I could say, "Chill man, this is just life, it really doesn't matter if I forget to call you Doctor just because you have a PHD!!" Some of them think that if they can point out all those tiny details, it makes them superior or something. Let's just say, it makes you annoying.

Today, I saw this clip on Youtube and I fell in love with this dude's address (not him, just the address). Okay, he might not look like much, and perhaps, even looked a little scary at a glance, but what he has to say revealed a lot about him as a person. Based on what he said, I know he is one person that will have my full respect.

Yep, this is Tim Minchin - not a vampire slayer, vampire or anything close to that. Mascara does add a scary effect...

I love his address so much that I feel the need to capture it in some ways, and so, if what he says fade from my memories (which I don't think it will), I still have it somewhere personal - my blog.

His 9 lessons is much more significant for me personally than the 8 Habits of Successful People. No offence, but for me, at this point in life - Tim Minchin's words have a lot more value.

Point being, I’m not an inspirational speaker. I’ve never lost a limb on a mountainside, metaphorically or otherwise. And I’m certainly not here to give career advice, cos… well I’ve never really had what most would call a proper job.

However, I have had large groups of people listening to what I say for quite a few years now, and it’s given me an inflated sense of self-importance. So I will now – at the ripe old age of 38 – bestow upon you nine life lessons. To echo, of course, the 9 lessons and carols of the traditional Christmas service. Which are also a bit obscure.

You might find some of this stuff inspiring, you will find some of it boring, and you will definitely forget all of it within a week. And be warned, there will be lots of hokey similes, and obscure aphorisms which start well but end up not making sense.

So listen up, or you’ll get lost, like a blind man clapping in a pharmacy trying to echo-locate the contact lens fluid.

Here we go:

#1 You Don't Have to Have A Dream

Americans on talent shows always talk about their dreams. Fine, if you have something that you've always dreamed of, like, in your heart, go for it! After all, it's something to do with your time... chasing a dream. And if it's a big enough one, it'll take you most of your life to achieve, so by the time you get to it, and are staring into the abyss of the meaninglessness of your achievement, you'll be almost dead so it won't matter. I never really had one of those big dreams and so I advocate passionate dedication to the pursuit of short term goals. Be micro-ambitious. Put your head down and work with pride on whatever is in front of you, you never know where you might end up. Just be aware that the next worthy pursuit will probably appear in your periphery. Which is why you should be careful with long term dreams. If you focus too far in front of you, you won't see the shiny thing out of the corner of your eye. Right? Good. 

Phew, I felt the pressure off me. I always feel useless because I do not have a goal in life and I always admire those who have a dream. I guess now I am reassured that having short term goals are okay and more importantly, it is to live passionately in pursuing what you like to do at the moment. 

My new favourite term - micro-ambitious! To focus on the moment and not worry about reaching a specific destination you want to. As now, I really do not have a specific place I want to be because I do not have a dream and I have nothing to chase. I guess I will just put my heart and soul in doing something I love to do - but as of now, I need to rediscover my passion.

# 2 Don't Seek Happiness

Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy and you might find you get some as side effect. We didn't evolve to be constantly content. Contented Australophithecus Afarensis got eaten before passing on their genes.

Damn hilarious point number 2. 

I guess I never had trouble putting a smile on my face because I have long gasp that happiness is not a destination, but more of perspective. It is how we see things and how we decide to feel about it. I know that. And I guess this point is a reminder of why I always want to help people, because I am selfish in a way. I want people to be happy so that I can feel happy too. He is also damn right about being contented. I realised that no one will ever be satisfied with what they have. They can be grateful, but there will still be times that they longed for something. Everyone wants more... that is just humans I guess and I am glad to feel normal now.

#3 Remember, It's All Luck

You are lucky to be here. You were incalculably lucky to be born and incredibly lucky to be brought up by a nice family that helped you get educated and encouraged you to go to Uni. Or if you were born into a horrible family, that's unlucky and you have my sympathy. But you were still lucky - lucky that you happened to be made of the sort of DNA that made the sort of brain which, when placed in a horrible childhood environment - would make decisions that meant you ended up eventually, graduating Uni. Well done you, for dragging yourself up by the shoelaces but you were lucky. You didn't create the bit of you that dragged you up.

I suppose I worked hard to achieve whatever dubious achievements I've achieved but I didn't make the bit of me that works hard, any more than I made the bit of me that ate too many burgers instead of going to lectures while I was here at UWA. Understanding that you can't truly take credit for your successes, nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate. Empathy is intuitive but it is also something you can work on, intellectually.

Spot on about my life. I am lucky. For so many reasons. I don't know why I am born the way I am, but being the way I am, helped me through a lot of things. It is luck. I go through a lot of stuff because of luck, and because I am the way I am. I think in whatever we do, even if we f*** up, if we are still alive and healthy, we are still lucky. For those who really have their lives screwed up to the max, it is sad but I am sure if we find some perspectives, they can still be consider lucky. We just need to remember and tell ourselves that we are lucky, because we are. We are sometimes not in control of how we are as human and the way we think because we are sometimes born with a certain way of thinking. You can't say that family made you the way you are because some strict family raise good kids, while others raise rebellious ones. Just be grateful that the way you were engineered to think makes you the way you are today.  I agree with him that to be grateful makes you humble and you will go a long way. I will forever remember that.

#4 Exercise

I'm sorry you pasty, pale, smoking philosophy grads, arching your eyebrows into a Cartesian curve as you watch the Human Movement mob winding their way through the miniature traffic cones of their existence - you are wrong and they are right. Well, you're half right - you think, therefore you are...but also, you jog, therefore you sleep well, therefore you are not overwhelmed by the existential angst. You can't be Kant and you don't want to be.

Play a sport, do yoga, pump iron, run... whatever but take care of your body. You're going to need it. Most of you mobs are going to live to nearly a hundred and even the poorest of you will achieve a level of wealth that most humans throughout history could not have dreamed of. And this long, luxurious life ahead of you is going to make you depressed. But don't despair! There is an inverse correlation between depression and exercise. Do it. Run my beautiful intellectuals, run. And don't smoke.

I have always knew the importance of exercise but never determined or hardworking enough to start doing it. Until recently when I got involved with ONE Fighting Championship. I have a new found love for Mixed Martial Arts and although I am still no expert in it, I am taking up Muay Thai, which I love. Now when I don't go for classes, I feel lacking. And when I miss classes, I tend to have a lot of pent up stress. So what he says is true, the more you exercise, the less depress you feel. When I am sad, I go for classes, no matter how tired I am feeling. It is too important! And yes, I have said it a million times to those I care about - that they should stop smoking but I hate to nag and so I will leave that to them. To want to quit themselves rather than being force into it. I know that with smoking, there is never a way to get the person to quit unless they want to. 

#5 Be Hard on Your Opinions

A famous bon mot asserts that opinions are like arse-holes, in that everyone has one. There is great wisdom in this but I would add that opinions differ significantly from arse-holes, in that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined.

We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and beat them with a cricket bat. Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privilege.

Most of society's arguments are kept alive by a failure to acknowledge nuance. We tend to generate false dichotomies, then try to argue one point using two entirely different sets of assumptions, like two tennis players trying to win a match by hitting beautifully executed shots from either end of separate tennis courts. 

By the way, while I have science and arts grads in front of me: please don't make the mistake of thinking the arts and sciences are at odds with one another. That is a recent, stupid and damaging idea. You don't have to be unscientific to make beautiful art, to write beautiful things.

If you need proof: Twain, Adams, Vonnegut, McEwen, Sagan, Shakespeare, Dickens. For a start. You don't need to be superstitious to be a poet. You don't need to hate GM technology to care about the beauty of the planet. You don't have to claim a soul to promote compassion. Science is not a body of knowledge nor a system of belief; it is just a term which describes humankind's incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome. 

The arts and sciences need to work together to improve how knowledge is communicated. The idea that many Australians - including our new PM and my distant cousin Nick - believe that the science of anthropogenic global warming is controversial, is a powerful indicator of the extent of our failure to communicate. The fact that 30% of this room just bristled is further evidence still. The fact that that bristling is more to do with politics than science is even more despairing. 

This, to be frank - I fail miserably in doing. I have an inflated ego - I am telling you and I won't lie about it. I won't give in easily if I have a strong opinion about something. So yes, perhaps I should really take my opinions out to the verandah and beat it real hard.

#6 Be a teacher

Please, please be a teacher. Teachers are the most admirable and important people in the world. You don't have to do it forever, but if you're in doubt about what to do, be an amazing teacher. Just for your twenties. be a primary school teacher. Especially if you're a bloke - we need male primary school teachers. Even if you're not a Teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas. Don't take for granted your education. Rejoice in what you learn and spray it!

At this point in life, yes, I am a bit clueless of what I want to do. And looks like I could really consider the option of teaching somewhere while I take a break from this tiring job I have. I love to share ideas and talk about things and learn from others and meet people.

#7 Define Yourself by What You Love
I've found myself doing this thing a bit recently, where if someone asks me what sort of music I like, I say "well I don't listen to the radio because pop lyrics annoy me." Or if someone asks me what food I like, I say "I think truffle oil is overused and slightly obnoxious." And I see it all the time online, people whose idea of being part of a subculture is to hate Coldplay or football or feminists or the Liberal Party. We have tendency to define ourselves in opposition to stuff; as a comedian, I make a living out of it. But try to also express your passion for things you love. Be demonstrative and generous in your praise of those you admire. Send thank you cards and give standing ovations. Be pro-stuff, not just anti-stuff.

I know exactly what Minchin means! I always have people who diss me for liking KPop, just because they feel cool that they don't like "Kpop". Most people diss others for being too mainstream - which actually there is nothing wrong - just preference. I guess now I have to stop dissing people for liking Justin Bieber and start promoting my passion for Leessang.

#8 Respect People with Less Power than You

I have, in the past, made important decisions about people I work with - agents and producers - based largely on how they treat wait staff in restaurants. I don't care if you're the most powerful cat in the room, I will judge you on how you treat the least powerful. So there! 

This echoes my beliefs totally. Simple. He sums up my principles in two sentences. So there!

#9 Don't Rush
You don't need to already know what you're going to with the rest of your life. I'm not saying sit around smoking cones all day, but also, don't panic. Most people I know who were sure of their career at 20 are having midlife crisis now. 

I said at the beginning of this ramble that life is meaningless. It was not a flippant assertion. I think it's absurd: the idea of seeking "meaning" in the set of circumstances that happens to exist after 13.8 billion years worth of unguided events. Leave it to humans to think the universe has a purpose for them. However, I am no nihilist. I am not even a cynic. I am actually, rather romantic. And here's my idea of romance:

You will soon bee dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough and God, it's tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad. And then you'll be old, and then you'll be dead.

There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence, and that is : fill it. Not fillet. Fill. It.

And in my opinion (until I change it), life is best filled by learning as much as you can about as much as you can, taking pride in whatever you're doing, having compassion, sharing ideas, running, being enthusiastic. And then there's love, and travel and wine and sex and art and kids and giving...but you know all that stuff already.

It's an incredibly exciting thing, this one, meaningless life of yours. Good luck.

In the end, I salute Minchin for this simple address, which is ironically so deep in meaning. Not everyone would appreciate his values, but I know I do. And I agree with a lot of the things he said. And he gave me new directions, new thoughts, new perspectives...

Now, click here to enjoy.