WEAKNESSES

I'm sorry for my weakness
For when everyone was down
I was buried in my own mess

I'm sorry I wasn't able to lift during these times

I barely have the strength to live 

I'm sorry I lost sight of the way

When I was supposed to be holding the light

I lost sight

I dropped the torch 

Under my watch 

And now

We lost our shine 

I'm sorry I am exhausted 

Burnt out almost 

Contorted feelings 

My mind haywire

At one point, it was dire

I am trapped, feeling useless

Prep talks are fruitless

Overshadowed by abusive words that echoed in my empty, silent head

Every night, reminding me what I could have been

Should have said or done instead 

Mentally bounded by insecurities 

Not an ounce of confidence left within me

What else can I do to be set free

Every night I pray

For the breath of God 

A light of hope

In the meantime,

I'll try to smile the pain away

I'm going through this for one more day

But my eyes will say

Please lead me to a better day