WORKING THROUGH MAY

What's up ma peeps!

Okay I have no idea why I am so "American" lately but I strongly believe it is the influence of my current job.

I have been super darn busy lately I couldn't express how stressed and emotional I have been for the past few days. Honestly, sometimes, it makes me hate being a woman haha. Having hormones is a real pain in the... 

But all is good though - I realised that I hate to complain about my job. I love it really and I take all the stress as positive now. Nothing is permanent so yes, I am just enjoying the ride. So a few random things before bed, and yes, I should have been in bed ages ago as I have to catch a morning flight tomorrow (or rather later) actually. Oh well, there are so many thoughts in my head that I just feel that spilling them out in words would help me sleep better.

My best friend's wedding

OMG, is this the title of a movie? Oh ya! Haha

Except my life the same as the heroine but yes, one of my closest friend is finally married today and although I am happy for him, it is just weird. I guess that's how one feels when a brother or sister gets married.

Don't get me wrong really, it is a great thing; it is just that I spend a huge part of my life feeling that I am a young teenager still and now my peers are tying the knot!! Haha. 

He is one of the guys I feel like I can really talk to and be myself with without having to be feminine and he is a part of the closest gang I hang out most with because we just have the same interests. There are three of us in the gang, including my closest female buddy, King Kong. Although we used to bicker a lot, now things have changed so much that I actually kinda miss the bickering (a little). But I shall becareful what I wish for.

Still, I want to wish YC and his new wife all the best and a happy marriage. I am so proud that he has taken the first step to start a new life chapter. Not many of us can write that chapter as it takes so much courage, commitment and trust. All three of these, I still can't seem to find.

Thinking too much

My best bud King Kong told me that I think too much before I does or say stuff and that is sometimes not a good thing. Sometimes I should just let things be and just do it. Solid advice but honestly, I feel like most of the time, the problem is when I don't think hahaha.

See, lately I am very disturbed by how my ego can get in the way of so many things I want to say. My biggest problem sometimes is learning how to swallow my pride, especially when it comes to dealing with the people I love and care about. Urgh!

On the bright side, I do feel I am doing better now. If previously I won't express affection at all, now I am able to tell some people how much I love and care for them. And I've learned to be less reserved, unlike last time when I was more stiff and awkward. Let me take it one step at a time and see what I can achieve one day.

Insecurities

So I laugh a lot and stuff but you gotta know that I do feel insecure too man - not all the time, but sometimes. And this week was terrible for me. Please God, help me out here. I got to stop feeling bad because honestly, I have an awesome life and if I complain, even I feel I should be punished severely.

Events

I have so many events coming up in the next two weeks I dread thinking about it. See, I enjoy it but the process of planning it is causing my recurring dandruff problem (stress ma!). Nevertheless, let's all put our hands together and pray that our Jakarta open workout tomorrow kick ass (in a good way) and that I can fly back happily to celebrate Mothers' Day.

Mothers' Day

You know, I think I got my cuteness from my mum. Ahem, okay, my mum is cuter. She says the cutest things sometimes (because of naivety, hahaha, can you believe I call her naive?) and it is hilarious.

For example, we are planning for a mother's day dinner and she wants me to teach my brother how to book the table. For your info, my bro is almost 23 years old and I think she still treats him like a baby! Haha. I guess my bro is always gonna be her baby boy. 

We were talking about MMA expanding to Korea and I told her I can speak a bit of Korean, like Anyeong Haseyo. She went like, everyone can say Anyeong Haseyo. And then she went on and say, "paili paili" means faster. It was hilarious!

I guess mums naturally nag and they get on your nerves sometimes. But I always know deep down that my mum has done so much for me in so many ways that I don't know what I'll do without her. She will sacrifice and take her time off to send me out to run errands when no one would want to do it. My aunt once told me, my mum, no matter how unhappy, won't leave because of her three children (us).

Again, I know I am not the best daughter ever because work and technology have made me spend less time with her... but yes, I am trying my best! I am so proud to have my mum and my dad as parents because their differences made me see the beauty of both sides.

Till the next time! I'm off to Jakarta!