LATE NIGHT POST

Sorry...

It's been a while I know.

I shall try to keep this short - well, it's already past 2am and these days, I do sleep earlier than this.

I guess work has been good because when I don't get to blog, it usually means that I'm busy with life, and busy with work. Did a couple of events recently - the ONE FC press conference on the collaboration with Tune Talk to make Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) big in Malaysia. Seriously, I've never done any event with so much 'testosterone' in it, just saying. I shall blog about it more soon - definitely not tonight. So much to say about ONE FC! 

I also got drunk the other day.

Really, it's embarrassing, but I guess stress gets you there. It's not like you want to drink it, but you're sometimes just so frustrated with life that you just don't really give a damn what you drink. You treat it as water and I was wrong. You can't treat alcohol like water, especially if you don't know what it contains. I learn the hard way that Long Island Tea is a mixture of 5 types of alcohol. Sorry, I didn't know that. It is good, but unless you are ready to go to bed, try not to. 

I will definitely try to not drink anymore because I really don't want to humiliate myself. And it burdens others because they need to take care of you. 

But how much longer can I cope with the ugliness of humanity? Sometimes, I can't even accept myself. Perhaps that's my problem - I want things to be ideal, and beautiful. I want things to be the way I envision and when it is not, I feel disgusted, especially with people.

I'm really a bit upset. It's a struggle and I don't even know why it's so hard to face the world. It's all emotions and I don't know why I've become this way. Worst is, I don't know how to make myself feel better. Life has a funny way of working. When you are down, you just have to wait to get back up. When you are up, you know you'll need to come down again. I used to be on a children's ride you know, not much ups and downs surprises - more like a flat ride - which was fun you know. But then age has to set in and I outgrown the baby rides and graduated to the high level rides. Even if you don't like it, you have no choice but to ride on them. As human, you just need to hang in there till the ride is over.

Not all is bad. I have learned to accept a lot of things. I think my perspective of things changed a little and it is changing constantly. Perhaps it is a good thing - I learn to be less stubborn with my views and see it from various other angles. I'd say that things are improving really. At least I know that these are all lessons that I have to learn - the people that I need to deal with and the situations I need to face. Right now I just need to get over my slacking problem and continue to hang in there.

It's 21122012 - they say it's the end of the world. The sad part is, I don't even care.

Good night.