I GUESS I'LL JUST DO IT ANYWAY

I've been thinking a lot lately, mainly because I have nothing much to do. So I thought about life and how lost I am with no directions and feeling demotivated. Suddenly I feel so darn useless and lazy to start because I feel it doesn't get me anywhere, anyway. I've been facing failures and failures over and over again. I feel that the more I wish and hope for something, the more I fall. That's why I never believe in the power of positive attracts.

I do not attract the positive. The more I wish for something to happen and try to think positive about it, the more I feel let down and I'm getting sick of it. Life is best when you expect nothing. Sometimes, maybe it's better to just float and just let things happen as it happens. Putting in hopes just crushes you a million billion gazillion times.

This song by Martina McBride is somewhat nice because it tells us to do things anyway. So, I think yes; I'll do things anyway without any expectations.

You can spend your whole life building,

Something from nothing,
One storm can come and blow it all away,
Build it anyway.

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach 

And you know it might not ever come your way 

Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy

And it's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yeah, I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing

A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway

Yeah, yeah!
I'll sing
I'll dream
I'll love anyway
I sing
I dream
I love anyway

I've finally decided that I'll continue dreaming but maybe I don't want to chase after my dream job anymore. I'm too tired of being idealistic. I guess right now, I'll just get a job and move on with life. I don't want to do what I love anymore. Maybe I don't have to anymore because currently, I'm feeling so low, insecure, demotivated, useless that I don't even know what I want anymore. I suddenly feel like I'm chasing nothing...if it won't happen, it won't happen.

I prayed a lot recently. I mean, usually I pray but recently, I prayed a lot more mainly because I want something. I feel bad, as though I only pray to God when I need a favour. I know I know...and sometimes, when I don't get the things I want, I get angry, sad and disappointed. I try hard not to blame God because I realized that God has always been nice to me. Every single thing that happened to me has turned out to be mostly positive. I guess I'll continue to believe.

But like I say, I love this song. At least it boost up a little spirit...

Martina McBride sings some of the most beautiful and inspiring country songs, that's why I just love some of her songs. She usually writes about gratitude, about God, about being contented and happy with her life...these are values that I always try to hold on to.