I LOST MY INTEGRITY TO HOTNESS

After the second time I watch Twilight, I kinda swore that I won't watch the sequel. But when I saw Jacob and his oh-so-gorgeous looks and body....*gulp*, I lost my integrity to a set of sexy biceps and hot looks.

There are basically a few reasons why people watch the Twilight Saga.

The most obvious reason is the two hot dudes. You're either a fan of Edward or Jacob. It's obvious that the producers used the dudes as selling point. For Twilight, they publicized Edward's hotness (and make Jacob look weird), building up Team Edward. In New Moon, the focus was solely on Jacob, literally re-branding him into something too hot to handle and soliciting new members for Team Jacob. Honestly, I've noticed Jacob's hotness in Twilight. My cousins laughed. Now you see. His heat doubled to boiling temperature. He's sizzling in this instalment.

Anyway, three types of dudes would watch it. 

One, the ones who want to show the romantic side to girls they want to win over. Two, the ones who were forced by their girlfriends or wives who want to churn out their romantic side. And the third, #Ghey (meant only as a joke, and not to offend).

But with the amount of publicity dedicated to it, I bet a lot watch it out of curiosity. You know, to see how bad it is and for a good laugh...haha.

Seriously though, if you are a person who doesn't get super emo romantic stories, save your cash, invest or donate it to charity. RM7 is a lot of money and if inclusive of pop-corns and drinks, that'll be like more than RM10 spent on New Moon (purely for the information of cheapskates).

Although directed by different director, this movie didn't fail to carry on the slow and draggy style. Bella and Edward still share this awkward love and eye-contact. The lamest scene?

Bella: "It's still my birthday.....bla bla bla...kiss me"

My GOD! Can you act like a normal couple please? Why can't they be more natural with each other? When both of them share the screen, they don't look in love, they look like they are uncomfortable with each other. What's a romance story with such weird chemistry? Bad romance? 

Like I say, I really don't know if it's Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson's bad acting or are they really that good that they can portray such stiff and wooden characters. If it's the characters, then I really don't get the 2 lead characters.

I get it. The title of the movie is New Moon, supposedly the darkest period of something. So basically, in this movie, it is Bella's journey through her darkest moments, hence her emo-ness and the never ending screams. Maybe I'm too 'gay' for such context so I don't get it. That's why the movie has to be so 'gothic' style.

But putting myself in the shoes of a common and normal day-to-day person who is not the emo type, Jacob is the saviour of the movie. Watching him is the only thing that made the movie bearable. I mean, Jacob has better chemistry with Bella. At least Jacob's character makes things normal. Although he's a werewolf, he's not like Edward. He really make you feel 'warmer'.

You see, in the movie, vampires are cold-blooded while werewolves are hot (and they are!). 

My favourite part in the movie (yes, I actually have one) is when Jacob say to Bella who's freezing: "It's a hundred and eight degrees over here" and then Bella hugs him to warm up. Awww....I actually felt the warmth myself too. Cinemas nowadays are really cold too. I wish Jacob was next to me, ahem.

Hot hot-blooded men

Cold-blooded

The storyline is draggy mainly because the dialogues exchanged were stupid. Hearing Edward and Bella communicating with each other makes me feel like slapping both of them and asking them to hurry up. I mean, you don't have to deliver love lines like that slow to show that you love each other. I mean, I don't see Jacob taking 10 hours to express his love for Bella.

I'm not into younger guys but I'm making an exception because he is Taylor Lautner! Jacob has a way of making such a fantasy-like movie somewhat real. I love the way he and Bella spent time together fixing the motorbikes and hang out at movies. It's like what normal friends would do. He's like the guy friend you would enjoy hanging out with.

Nevertheless, this sequel lacks the excitement in Twilight. We also don't get to see the whole Cullen family in action together. Last time, my favourite scene was the baseball scene because I felt the sense of family unity. With this one, there were no family kicking butts but there were lots of vampire-eating werewolves.

The movie also fails to spice up the history between the werewolves and vampires as well as the Volturi. I think it would be interesting to continue enhancing that legend as it would definitely carry the Twilight saga forward, in terms of better storylines, instead of just so love oriented.

Well to be fair, I guess everyone who enter the cinema for a taste of New Moon would expect it to be about romance. It'll be again stupid to expect something else. I mean, to be fair, if you go to a Korean restaurant, of course you'll get Korean food right? Same as New Moon. You can only expect 'emo' scenes and nothing much. Maybe a bit of action and humour here and there.

If it's your sort of thing - you know, like the super emo kinda love story, I think you will like it. I mean, I was about to leave the cinema when I heard three Caucasian girls complimenting the movie. Well, good to know. In the end, I got what I expected - Jacob and a good laugh.

But one thing is for sure. Girls, making your boyfriends watch New Moon with you would be one of the BEST punishment if they ever offend you.

TC-My Rating: