BLINDING LIGHTS

It was played many times on the radio, but never once had I the time to register this song in my head.
So I found out one day that it is sang by Ellie Goulding...and that the lyrics is so deep and can be interpreted in so many ways. Some even feels that it is a song about Alien invasion.

For me, it's about finding the "light"...The light that will get me going and finding my direction to a place where I belong - back to those times when I don't 'think'.

I had a way then
Losing it all on my own

I never had problem living in my own world and disregarding the crap that goes on around me. I used to be okay being just myself, but now, slowly I have to fit into an environment that I hate and it is driving me crazy because I feel lost in a world that I don't belong to.

I had a heart then
But now the Queen has been overthrown

I used to think that it is worth it to sacrifice for some people, but I guess sometimes, being nice is unjustifiable. Just be nice to make yourself happy. Now, I can be more heartless and selfish. If you're not happy, then screw being nice.

And I'm not sleeping now
The dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now
The strength I need to push me

Every night I think of the events that happened around me. The people, the antics, the dilemmas, my morals, the things that I might have did wrong, and what have I done right? It is scary that these thoughts drive you late into the wee hours - causing you to lose precious sleep. I am not those who think about making money, so I don't get motivated to work for money. I get motivated with passion, and every day I go to bed thinking if my passion is still intact to drive me the next day.

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I am alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone
'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home...

Lights can be bad in a way - sometimes, they blind you. But some people helped me by guiding me to the right direction with the lights. So sometimes, I feel inspired to fight and live life.
One day, I'll return to the roots of who I am and I can be in the once innocent world that I was in.
One day, I'll find a place where I belong.

Noises,
I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing

Sometimes, there are so many thoughts in my head that I wonder when I'll go crazy.

And I think back to when my brother and sister slept
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe

Now I feel vulnerable in a world where no one can be trusted. I need to be fake sometimes to survive. I am straightforward most of the time, but I guess, there's only that much honesty and innocence one can maintain.

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone

You shine it when I am alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone
'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
Home...

Yasmin Ahmad, one of Malaysia's most prominent writer and director believes in God and love.
Inspired - I will try to love more and believe, although I am slowly losing hope for humanity.

You see, I just realise this. There are many movies about people losing faith in humanity and what this actually means is that many people are losing hope in humanity. They make these movies to give themselves hope that there still can be good.

Sometimes movies are depiction of hopes. And this means, sometimes, movies are just lies people create for themselves. Don't you think?

Love & Cheers
TammyC